A beautiful gal whom i got to know better recently - Diana. There's an unique bond of love and gentle fun that we both share. Thank you for being in my life, Diana. =) *HUGS*
Christmas celebrations service!
Pretty Sharon in a pretty white dress - my Christmas present for her. =) *hugs*
Dearest Nozomi and Eri in town! Miss them sooooo.
Two peektures, which i surprisingly discovered, summarise what the Lord has done for me during the Israel trip!
Peekture ONE 
Before departure. What a tired and dull looking me! (My spirit was a little down in the week before the trip)
Peekture TWO
Arrival back to Singapore. God works in amazing ways. After two nights of intense lack of sleep due to rushing to airport and travelling on plane, i actually looked more refreshed and joyful this night.
Yes God met me in breathtaking ways in Israel, and He restored my soul and topped up His living waters in me.
Thank you, the wonderful youths above, for taking the time to send and/or fetch me at the airport. Simple gestures these are, but they touched me largely. =)
* * *
The whole west coast of Israel is bordered by the Mediterranean Sea (above), ever so exotically blue.Eunice, Stephanie and I spent the time after Ps's message singing as we swung our legs over the Galilee waters to the beat of the songs of worship to the Lord.
I discovered that.... I might have been a MacDonald's kid! (Below: MacDonald's sign in Hebrew)
To our delight we had a Chinese lunch! The fare was simple but it caused our taste buds to rejoice and leap.
The restaurant is opened by a pair of Christian Chinese. Their words on the wall definitely lifted me a lot - that I can always depend on God to start afresh (picture on the left), and God's joy is truly the best medicine (picture on the right) - exactly what God had given for me in the first 3 days of Israel!
* * *
Tadaaa..... this is the end of Part 1. Stay tuned for more! Ha.
Want to end here by giving thanks for one of my best travelmates Angela (see below!). We had a wonderful time together the whole of our 4th day, and wow how mightily did we bless each other.
ONE OF THE MOST MINDBLOWING MOMENTS:
Me: 'Angela!! Do you know my greatest passion is dance!' (I had NEVER mentioned this to Angela ever)
Angela: 'So scary. Just a few seconds before you told me this, i had a vision of you dancing with a tambourine! Out of nowhere!'
Both of us: 'Oh GOD.... You are with us!'
Me in my mind: 'Wow God, thank YOu for remembering and affirming this God-given passion!' (Nearly really to tears)
Dear Meishan invited me to her community event last night. Tired as i was, i thanked God tremendously when i was there, that i went.
I saw so many smiles of truest joy on the faces of so many kids, especially the moment each of them received the balloon sculptures he/she had asked for.
Not just the children, even their parents seemed to wear a more simple and childlike delight, seeing the colours and shapes.
And most importantly, i observed the dedication, commitment and patience in Meishan as she twisted balloons after balloons, having to manage and entertain both the event visitors and also the helpers. Every other minute, she might have turned to me, holding up her finger, saying 'Pain pain', but she always did that with a sweet smile, not as an act of complaint at all.
So proud of her. =)
See what she personally folded for me in the picture above!
She intentionally stayed later just to keep her promise to fold a gift for me. I requested that she rested instead, since she was tired and her finger was painful. But she replied with her sweetest smile again, 'It's okay. I promised you mah. I want to fold for you'.
Simple act of love. Simple gifts. But they touched my heart tremendously. =)
(Even if i had to carry the balloon sculptures on the mrt after that, and had the people around me staring at me. Ha. Maybe they were admiring the sculptures) =)
The Fern and the Bamboo
One day I decided to quit...I quit my job, my relationship, my
spirituality.... I wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to
have one last talk with God.
"God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me.
"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied.
"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good
care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew
from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came
from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.
In the second year the fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And
again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.
"In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I
would not quit. The same in year four.
"Then in the fifth year, a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.
Compared to the fern, it was seemingly small and insignificant.
But just six months later, the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and
gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a
challenge it could not handle.
"Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been
struggling, you have actually been growing roots? I would not quit on the
bamboo. I will never quit on you.
"Don't compare yourself to others." He said. "The bamboo had a
different purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful.
"Your time will come", God said to me. "You will rise high"
"How high should I rise?" I asked.
"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can?" I questioned
"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."
I left the forest, realizing that God will never give up on me. And
He will never give up on you.
Never regret a day in your life.
Good days give you happiness; bad days give you experiences; both
are essential to life.
--Author Unknown
Did not share with many, but for the past three months, i had been struggling at times about dynamics in cell, etc.
Yesterday i once again affirmed to myself that I had trained myself so well to show that i do not care when i really care.
Well, having said these, i am not someone who gives up easily on myself, people and things. I want to choose to believe, always. My hope is in Christ Alone!
And He is truly my Strength. I pray that this Strength continues to revive greater and greater joy within my soul again!
* * *
Tonight as i was on the way home from TC, i witnessed this:
At a really wide, major cross junction, within three seconds, a motorbike whizzed past and scraped hard the front of a turning car with a loud thud, sending the motorcyclist rolling on the ground.
(my hands cupped my ears in an instant response to what my eyes saw. i could not express how relieved i was that there were no other rapid moving traffic beside them, and that the motorcyclist could still kneel after the rolling to wave his arm angrily at the driver)
This wasn't what left an impact on my heart from the accident...
... It was the scene whereby the car driver stepped out of his vehicle immediately after the bang, and moved straight to the front of it to check if it was damaged.
These questions whizzed in my head:
Did he not care at all about the motorcyclist and his fall?
Was it that his own possession (a non-living thing) could be of much greater importance than a life, no matter whose fault was in the accident?
i couldn't understand. i think i would have run straight to the motorcyclist, my heart would have worried for his safety.
i could not understand, and i prayed.
Phew....here to catch a breather through a post before you guys forget about my blog! =p
I have no intention of abandoning this blog, but i have been very much focused on my work which is suddenly... into its 4th month! (To find out more about my work, go here)
* * *
Anyway one of my very old friends just showed me his latest blog post, and boy, i was laughing out loud in my living room as i read it. He wrote about...
a love letter...
that he wrote...
for me........................ on someone's behalf!
And mind you, that love letter episode happened when we were in... primary school.
Read it here.
I do not exactly remember the incident but i vaguely recalled myself tearing the love letter up (or did i?). Ha so drama mama. Well i don't know where i got such wisdom from, but i really believed at that age, we knew nothing about true love!
I think these were some of the 'dao' (unfriendly) faces i gave this dear classmate during that time.
Flipping though these old photos, i realised i looked rather dao too when i was even younger!
Haha.
On The Side of Me
By Corrinne May
I'm not the easiest person to love
I'm often the one who lets things go unresolved
Yet you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me
Yet you choose to be on the side of me
on the side of me
I'm not too proud of some things
I've done in my life
The skeletons in my closet
Are too big for me to hide
Yet you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me
Blessed Charity
You're on the side of me
on the side of me
Everyone needs a friend to hold
when it's cold outside
and there's no place to go
Everyone needs a friend to hold
all alone I cried
there was no place to go
I remember when nobody cared
but you
I'm not the easiest person to love
But you, you've opened your heart to show me what I'm worth
'Cause you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me
What a mystery
You're on the side of me
on the side of me
Everyone needs a friend to hold
when it's cold outside
and there's no place to go
Everyone needs a friend to hold
all alone I cried
there was no place to go
I remember when nobody cared
Nobody cared
But you...
Yeah you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me
* * *
There are a few people who came to my mind as i listened to this song. A simple 'thank you' does not suffice to tell how they have been for me in my life.
Will spend some time to give thanks for them on my blog soon! =)
The world out there is trying to tell us so many things.
That is why it is so important to be aware of what we see, hear and receive as values. When we loosely allow an influx of messages of all assortments come into our minds, our self-esteem can get damaged silently and gradually.
Who and what define beauty for you today?
My earlier post on 'Who defines Beauty for you?'
This year's personal highlight for Midautumn goes to.....
Tung Lok's Bing Pi Mooncakes!
Icy....yolky..soft... and melts in your mouth... Bagus!
* * *
My parents and i had dinner at my grandma's tonight. Normal dishes, but the lil' time of catch-up over the meal beat them all. As usual, my mum and granny was asking me to eat eat eat, gosh they would not even believe when i told them that my weight is above 50kg - definitely healthy! =)
My dad is back, and tonight i whispered a silent prayer for him as i massaged his shoulders! hee.
* * *
On my way to my grandma's, i passed by once again the old site of my primary school. Though the building was already redundant a couple of years ago, it was only recently torn down. There was a lil' tinge of sadness at the thought of not being able to walk my school to relive the lovely memories. But hey, one of my life principles is that i will choose to look ahead at all times. The reason is simple - the future is always full of surprising hope and opportunities that i can tap on, whereas the past is not for me to change! =)
A poem that i wrote this February when i treaded that old neighbourhood fondly remembered:
A trip round my childhood's neighbourhood
* * *
Saw many kids playing with candles and lanterns tonight. I felt an urge to join them but i didn't. But i definitely miss these moments of simple tools, simple joy and simple fun. =)
My NUS aki friends and i used to carry lanterns and play with candles at the playground =p
And i am simply glad that we still meet up till now. =)
Caught the movie Evan Almighty with a few of my ex-coachees, a bunch of dear girls who have truly blessed me with their ARKs!
(Click to zoom in)
Believe it or not, that is a nick which some people, including my own mum, used on me.
Once my friend phoned and asked for 'Mirabel', the next moment my mum was exclaiming as she held the receiver, "DING DONGGG BELLLLL your call!"
Many associated my ding-dongness with my sporadic crazy moments. Well, try me. =p
I always fondly remember at a few Christmas parties, my friends had sung 'Mira-bell.. mira-bell... mira all the wayyy' to the tune of Jingle Bells. Maybe they are the ding dong ones. Ha.
***
Well recently i discovered i really like the sounds of bells. I began to imagine God watching me dance to the rythmns of chimes. A certain clock tower chime has been stuck in my head for two days.
I dearly remember a beautiful museum in Hokkaido. Amidst the white landscape laden with snow piles of different heights, rows of dark oak shophouses line the streets, and one classic grayish brick building stood in the middle of somewhere.
As you step in, an aura of nostalgia and fantasy welcome you together with the sounds of a thousand chimes - of different frequencies, tunes and beats, which yet gently symphonise.
Rows and rows and storeys of different musical boxes of all sizes and shapes fill the space...
[A picture which i took when i was there]
I know this blog has been obviously churning less in the recent month. Thank you all of you who still bother to visit often enough to check on me. =)
It's been an intensive and fulfiling time for me. Most people could call it simply busy. Many said i look more tired nowadays. Yes it's been rather tiring, but joy and excitement have been leaping within the peace of my heart. =)
Just last week i was hosting a few Japanese delegates who came for my church's Gateway Cities Youth Convention (Pictures above). These dear ladies, especially Eri and Nozomi, are really close to my heart. They thanked us profusely for taking care of them here, but I think we ourselves had been so blessed by their simple hearts of love and faith. God's arm is indeed never too short, to have amazingly built and preserved our bonds across time and geography.
Been at my new (not so new now) job for 1.5 months. I have been busy learning new things and managing many more things at one time. Challenging as it is, but i have not wanted to be afraid of facing my limits. Instead getting to know them better makes me conscious to surrender them to God, and rely on His power to push myself through. This, always works. =)
I think i should really honour my words and tell you all about what my new job is exactly about soon. =p Soon.
Other upcoming exciting stuff:
* My heart always knows it belongs to a traveller. I am really looking forward to my Israel trip in end November. What an encounter it will be.
* Two days after i land back in Singapore from Israel, i will be a bridesmaid for Ps Adrian and Aunna's wedding. What an honour, and privilege to serve this precious couple. =)
* I may be taking a short trip to China for my dad's company's 10th anniversary celebrations. Gosh 10 years. I want to go because i want to show my dad that i am honoured to present myself as his daughter. And it has nothing to do with the career, achievement, post he holds. =)
* My family is planning for a family vacation next Feb (gosh, don't let my boss see my travel plans, ha kidding). The places in mind sound really fabulous. I am drooling over them!
* My contemporary dance course is commencing on 17 Sept! Gosh dear God, You truly never forget my dreams.
I better stop here before you guys think that i am been busy simply daydreaming about the upcomings! =p
I attended a 3-day course on Understanding Youth Mental Health and Wellness this week (i thank my boss for sending me!). The lecturer Dr Ko Soo Meng, a senior consultant psychiatrist, gave very insightful elaborations about the various conditions and disorders prevalent in today's people - both young and old. Did i mention that he is such a clever joker as well? Ha.
Course syllabus aside, my first interesting observation was that more than half of the class were Christians, including Dr Ko himself. I thought i felt God's heart of love and compassion palpitate throughout the course; the many of us in the social sector really want to be God's heart and hands to the youth.
I was saddened to hear about the many extreme cases among Dr Ko's patients. Like a teenager with my emotions fired up, i felt the urge to become a psychiatrist. But with the sound mind of an adult, i do not do things rashly based on my feelings.
I wish the youth out there will be sound enough not to do things to hurt themselves on a spur of pain and depression. Guys, that is really an unnecessary choice.
Talk about it. Write your pain out. There is always someone who cares. Really.
This is it. I bought Corrinne May's latest album Beautiful Seed. Been anticipating it for a couple of months!
Some of you might have read the excerpt above which describes the beautiful album. Listen carefully to each piece of lyrics when you hear it.
Am not going to talk about the theme song Beautiful Seed in the album today, but this - Five Loaves and Two Fishes. (which you should be hearing now)
In the past week i had felt small.
I wondered how much i can achieve, how well i can perform.
I told myself i could never match up to this other person.
I wasn't sure how much my work could amount to.
Then like in this song, I lifted up all my fears and inhibitions, burdens and ambitions to Jesus.
And my God reminded me... No gift is too small. =)
***Five Loaves and Two FishesCorrinne May
A little boy of thirteen
was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing
and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening
to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom,
even the kids could understand
The hours passed so quickly
the day turned to night
Everyone was hungry
but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox
at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do
there were thousands to be fed
But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus
the kindness in His smile
and the boy cried out
with the trust of a child
he said:
"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
to feed them all"
I often think about that boy
when I'm feeling small
and I worry that the work I do
means nothing at all
But every single tear I cry
is a diamond in His hands
and every door that slams in my face
I will offer up in prayer
So I'll give you every breath that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my "Amen"
Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it's not too small
I trust in you
I trust in you
Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
no gift is too small
I have been talking to more strangers than ever. Ha. To bless them for the 100K Blessings Campaign that my church is currently doing.
Here are some interesting comments from them about me, which I am still giggling over:
"I thought you were Malay! That's why i didn't dare to serve you cos' my English is bad"
"Hee i only dare to smile at you cos' i thought you were not Singaporean"
"You definitely don't look Singapore, somewhat Spanish.."
Well well i definitely deserve an INTERNATIONAL passport, in the literal sense. Ha.
What do you think i look like then? =p
* * *
I finally stepped IN to dance again, yes into a dance studio.
I felt so liberated at my contemporary dance class last Friday!
Many of you would not know this deepest passion in me, cos' i had not worked on it or even talked about it for years.
I had been dancing from my primary school to JC days. Then it was inconfidence and lack of courage that stopped me from dancing again.
But I can't describe how grateful and excited i am that God remembers my dream all these while. And i almost thought i had lost my dance vibes, but i could still dance last Friday! hee. Like in the worship song we sang in church yesterday, my heart is singing 'Broken dreams are alive again...'! =)
Was looking through some photos taken last week and couldn't help thinking this is such a beautiful picture.
*Gals, each of you really looks so beautiful with your smiles.*
Simply pausing my eyes on this picture brings such a sweet joy in my heart. I thank God for each of you in my life. =)
Keep smiling, my beautifuls.
Some of you knew that i embarked on my new job in Trybe this Monday.
I had been rather engaged for this first week, thus not much time of sharing on this blog.
Let me show you how i looked like this week in my new 'uniform' then.
Update you guys more soon about the exciting positive challenges coming up in my new job! =)
I met Jean dear (gal in dark blue) when she was a warm young Secondary 2 student. She was in my Trybe (formerly Thumbs-up!) class, and her extremely warm and caring nature touched me. We met up pretty often then, to go through school work or just to catch up, but much lesser through the years.
FINALLY! Last night bro whale (he was also the facilitator for Jean back then) and I caught up with Jean and her bf. My, she's really grown into a beautiful young lady. =) And yes, her caring and kind heart has not changed but blossomed.
Ej and I blessed the young couple for 100k, and this led to much sharing about their life updates, also about their friend who is in quite bad state emotionally. We told them we would commit ourselves to pray for them, believing in miracles that we know truly only the Lord Jesus can bring.
Yes, Jean and Weilong, Jesus loves you, and He can bless you abundantly! =)
My 'ministry spot' on my desk
This week i say goodbye to my uncle's broadcast-and-AV technological company, and move on to my new place of growth!
I think my most precious takeaway from my 2+-yr stint here is receiving the assurance of my uncle's love for me. I knew from the first day here that God had placed me here to restore the uncle-and-niece relationship. Not that it was sour, but it had definitely been a vast difference from my very young days when he doted on me like a princess. As i grew up and he formed his own family, we had less opportunities to talk. He is a wonderful God-sent fatherly figure to me; i knew he has been discreetly trying to make up for part of my dad's absence all these years when my dad has been working overseas.
Thank you Uncle. =)
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us... And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. (Nelson Mandela)
My dear spiritual son Cerwin called me up to celebrate, i thought my belated birthday. To my most amazed delight, he said, 'Nope, remember I said I would give you a good treat when you recover from your wisdom tooth surgery?'. Aww....
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