Appreciating men - for their chivalry

Alrights, i am not starting a Men Appreciation Class here.

A recent statement from a treasured man in my life sparked this reflection on how i have appreciated the maleness of men.

i thank God that i have been blessed with a couple of good fatherly and brotherly figures through my life. They allow me to have a better, wider and deeper than usual understanding of the males, though i would not say i comprehend them fully well unless i am a male myself (Oh well Mars and Venus will always be different. Ha).

My uncle aka boss told me this last week, 'If i am selfish i really want you to work here forever, so that i can protect you'.

(My response was huh. I was touched, but... no, i needed to soar, elsewhere.)

On Monday night my dad who has been working overseas for the past 13 years, expressed that his heart to support the family is truly the force behind his hard diligence.

It reminded me of what Ps Jeffrey said at our 'Managing Finances' session, that he wants to make sure that when he leaves earth, his wife and future kids have enough for themselves.

Do you see a certain nature in the men?

Yes God made men to be chivalrous - to want to protect the weaker (?). (Come on ladies, let's admit it, there are many things we cannot do as well as guys, and... vice versa)

On my first date with my first boyfriend, he said this, "Hey when we walk on the bridge, i will stand on the side nearer to the traffic because i want to protect you". (i remembered this cos' it sounded so cute, ha)

A chuckle stirred within me. But i was well pleased. Ha.

How should we modern ladies respond when the men showcase their sincere chivalry?

1. Do not laugh out loud (especially if you do not think you need protection).

2. Show appreciation (even if you really do not need the protection).

3. Smile and, if with fathers, close uncles or boyfriends, even 'deh', in 'pretense' that you really need that protection. That will boost their maleness more and make them feel appreciated.

4. Know that you as a lady deserves such treatment! =)

Why is male chivalry not appreciated sometimes?

- In God's sense, this valiant nature incorporates respect. When the ladies do not feel respected, they see it more like ego than chivalry.

- So yes, my second point is, chivalry vs ego. Ultimately both are about having a sense of one's own dignity. But chivalry is outward-looking; it seeks the good of the other, while ego feeds inwardly to boost self-importance. So did you open the door for the lady because of her or to show everyone how gentlemanly you are?

- Ironically as the world fights harder for equal rights between the genders, it makes the stark disrespect and dehumanisation of women in the world, especially in the third world countries, stand out more. I was chilled and heartbroken to read about the gang-rape horror account by these women in Darfur, Sudan. Male chivalry is distorted when men focus on seeing themselves as the stronger counterparts.

Conclusion:

Men, rise up to your true calling to be the valiant knights

...in the fidelity, piety, and service to God, obeying God's call to 'do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves' (Philippians 2:3), and in graciousness to and respect for all women. (Adapted from the medieval definitions of chivalry. Source)

Women, recognise and appreciate the God-given maleness of men and their need to be chivalrous (egoistic, then ignore).

By doing this, we help them become true gentlemen. =)

After saying this, i would like to apologise to any of you guys out there if i had put you down or disregarded your maleness in any little way that shortchanged your full potential. i had been brought up in the past 13 years seeing my mum taking on certain tasks of the man, in the frequent absence of my dad at home. That is why i have the tendency to appear stronger than i actually am.

I have a learning interest now to celebrate the maleness in men and the femaleness in us women. =)