the meaning of commitment.

The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issue from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would come his way. —William H. Murray

The heights by great men reached and kept
Were not attained by sudden flight,
But they, while their companions slept,
Were toiling upward in the night.

-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

each tear you shed is to clean your eyes to see God more clearly.

doodie doodle.

it's my favourite hour of the day once again -the seventeenth hour - when fm96.3 starts playing its new age easy listening tunes. :>

i realised i still love to sketch.

Whenever i sit down and embark on a doodie-doodle on the page, my boredom and lethargy disappear. What an enjoyable and low-budget hobby. You only need to be armed with a pencil, an eraser, and a piece of paper, or more conveniently the table top and the walls if no fatal risks like the mother's cane are involved.

~~~~~


I will have a doodle room in my house next time, where walls no longer impose limitations when the art of your imagination transposes your body and soul away into itself.

i'm someone who believes in true love

cos God has already given it to me through Christ Jesus.

:>

In your hand holds a big bunch of keys.

worship pastor.

Last sat i went down at the call at the altar for anyone who has thought of going full-time into ministry. I really wanted God to confirm that desire/dream in my heart to become a pastor - was it deposited by Him?

Was being prayed for by a gal. She was asking God to use however and whatever little i have and am, to rise me up to my destiny if its in His will. In the midst of the praying, these words seeped into my mind - WORSHIP PASTOR.

:>

A tree of life shall i be.

"Her ways are pleasant ways,
and all her paths are peace.

She is a tree of life to those who embrace her; those who
lay hold of her will be blessed."

Proverbs 3:17-18

Exactly exactly! Even though these verses are talking about Wisdom, I found them an exact depiction of my greatest dream!!!

Yes God, i want to be that kind of tree for You,

always ready to shelter, support and strengthen anyone You bring under my canopy.

May He establish the work of our hands.

Matthew 24:1-2 1Jesus left the temple and was walking away when his disciples came up to him to call his attention to its buildings. 2“Do you see all these things?” he asked. “I tell you the truth, not one stone here will be left on another; every one will be thrown down.”


So you see, what's the point of grandeur in architecture?

Thank God tonight He brought me back on His track once again.

Psalm 90:17
May the favor of the Lord rest upon us; may He establish the work of our hands, yea establish the work of our hands!

:>

my secret confession.

alright, i admit that the effects of the easy-listening new age music is swaying me away again.


it's seeping into my emotions,

transposing me into that secretly-desired world - a void on earth.


Me, with just my guitar, my computer, my sketchpad, my pencils and the music.

Ahh....

my secret dream.

i have a secret dream to go to another corner of the world myself, and become an architectural intern again.

What happens when one of the seagulls has a clipped wing?

What happens when another is flying toward the wrong way?

What happens when one does not even want to fly?


Have i been putting too much pressure on myself Lord? Do i really love them too much to lose them? O Lord fend off satan's lies for me. I feel too weak to fight against them now.

_______________

You know Father, sometimes i just wish i had gone off to melbourne. I can force myself to be an architect, cos i just cannot stop being interested in it. I notice so many details of the world, sometimes i can even imagine myself cadding out the spaces in my mind -spaces that mystify and excite even myself. And it would seem like i have a definite direction in life, in the eyes of my family and relatives --imagine the gleam in their eyes when they hear that i am a qualified architect.

Imagine two whole years to be on my own and explore the corners out there? Isnt that what i always love to do? Packed just with my sketchbook, a pencil, and a cam (and perhaps a guitar), humming my fav tunes, i would roam the long streets and hunt out corners myself, just to take a look at life which i have never seen. Imagine exploring the shadows of the world; such beautiful puzzles and pictures they can form, only to evolve or vanish the next moment.

The art of the world indeed entices me so.


God you know i love people, and i love to love them. But God you know too, there are times when i like to ignore people, and just let everything revolve around me and the world.

Hmm no wonder you seemingly did not approve of grandeur in architecture. So whats the point of taking architecture? Who on earth came up with this stoopid idea of a course called architecture???

Argh oh well oh well, the thing that was troubling me had nothing to do with architecture AT ALL. I'm just letting all the pent-up stuff seep out of me. This would do me good.


Hee nearly wanted to roam off into the forest at SAFTI that afternoon myself...it felt good walking around under the canopies alone, breathing in the fresh air, singing my fav worship songs, even wanted to go on that little rope bridge (but was wearing heels argh) .........until i saw that sign "Beware of snakes". Well well, as adventurous as i can be, i do not wish to be fighting snakes with heels in the forest.

Huh, God so that was Your stop sign.

You know who i am inside

Sonicflood
I Need You

You know of my deepest fear
You know when I'm scared
You can read my empty page
You can feel my rage

You're aware of when I dream
You see when I bleed
You can tell when I need love
You know I'm in need
I know we need You, Father
Much more than any other
Your love brings us together
We need You,
we need YouLove,
we need love
You are love
We need You
Love, You are love
We need love
We need You
I need You.

You know who I am inside...

YET YOU STILL CHOSE TO LOVE ME.

humility and simplicity - motto for the year!

When you sincerely ask God to humble you, He REALLY will. Haa....Praise Him!!

Towards the end of last year, i realised my heart had been getting more prideful, fundamentally due to the many blessings and achievements He has graciously granted me in a mere year.

It IS amazing to have so much of His grace upon you, to be bestowed so much more than you can ask for. His favor seems to follow you around too! For all these, my heart of gratitude towards Him overflows. But satan also took the chance to slip into me a dreadful trait - self pride.

I felt it very strongly, cos alot of times, i begun to bear thoughts of slight contempt towards people around me, even towards God's blessings for them, like "hey they dont deserve that much". This judgemental streak sneaked up on me occasionally, especially when i let my Christward guards down. And my, how it stirred up turbulences in me!

Thank God, He finally convicted me to kneel before Him in where else but my favorite praying corner - the toilet (this time, the office's)- and my spirit just cried out to Him to humble me. Psalm 51:10 "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast and humble spirit within me." (Italiced words are my own)

And guess what, He really did! Today i felt a whole new humble spirit within me. No longer am i obsessed with the desire of having more and more girls under me, but i'm brought back to the only most fundamental duty which i need to fulfil - To just go all out and Love everyone. Cos' they are all God's people.

As the evening dawned, i was brought to this verse "..for the Son of God came to serve, and not to be served.." -Matthew 20:28

If that's Jesus's destiny on earth, that should be my very purpose on earth too!

I came to earth to serve, and not to be served!


Humility leads me to think Simplicity. Oh yesh God, there are many things on earth which i wanted, but i didnt need them. Wow, i feel much free-er in my spirit man!

An immediate application then came when i reached home. I was late for dinner; my family began dinner. Last time i would bear a silent little grudge about why nobody went to scoop rice for me. But hey, i came to serve, not to be served. No little grudge tonight!

Hooray, praise God!!!


Once again He set me free.