prayers.10nov04

Father bless my cell sisters. Make each of them beautiful in Your every way for them, rise them up in Your faith and courage, both in life and in serving You. Protect their hearts Father; may Your Love be the shield for them against the wounds and temptations of the world. May Your powerful anointing continue to dwell upon my spiritual leader yvonne; may she never lose faith in You about any of us, especially when we stray away.

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Father bless my gals to become Sarahs in Your eyes. May You rise up even the smallest seed of faith in their hearts to serve You faithfully in David Club and even in the mundaneness of their lives and routines. May their faces glow with Your radiance of Light each day. For those taking their Os now, Father i ask of You again to bless them mightily with Your strength and confidence.

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Father bless my family, my dearests. Guide my dad, mum and bro with Your peace, love and light each day, even if they have not found You. May You continue to use me mightily to reveal Yourself in my family.
Oh Lord bless the relationship between my grandparents as well. I lift it all up into Thy hands.

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Father bless bro bun much in his work, his walk with Jesus, with his boys and his family, especially his dad. Bless his heart Lord, that it would be ever protected from the lies and distractions of the devil. May he wake up each day only to feel Your grace, hear Your breath and take in the sweet aroma of Christ.

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Father bless bro joshua as he's rushing mad for his project submission in shanghai now. May Your sovereignty reveal as You perform the miracle in his project- that he can finish so much more than he can ever imagine. Bless him with a beautiful time as his parents and bro sebestian fly over tomorrow to visit him.

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Father bless my sister lilin and selynn especially, and protect their minds from satan. Seal their hearts in the kingdom of God, ever nurtured and beautified.

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Father bless bro kern and shawn in their work in san francisco. Thank You Lord for letting kern excel in his school work; thank You that we can proclaim Your highest glory in it so much. Keep him strong in Your embrace.

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Father bless my dear bro alvin. Thank You Lord for strengthening him so much at these moments when he just feels so weak and lost. Thank You Father for bringing him into a community and family of Love; Father i trust that you will bring him to stay in where he truly belongs.

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Father bless my dear dear bro jon. I do miss him really, after all i have been so used to being in tune with his deepest feelings and thoughts. Didnt even catch a glimpse of him in school that whole night, but that's of course of least importance. I pray of You Father to keep him close within Your sight, Your boundaries, and Your Love, no matter how hard he tries to hide and run from You now. Father i hold unto the vision of his return.

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Father bless my conversation with joan tomorrow!!! May it be seasoned and overflow with Your grace. Teach me what to say Father, how to effectively share about Your love with her. May You use me and the book Purpose Driven mightily, as You open her mind and heart to receive more and more of You into her life. Father, let me understand her barriers, her concerns, and may i be able to even speak through these with Your wisdom and grace. Yesh, tmrw 10am!

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Last but not least, Father i thank You for all that You are, cos they are all that i need.

i feel like...

i feel like bathing myself in cool blue waters now,
i feel like swimming with the dolphins.

i feel like riding on an extreme ride in the amusements
to hype my rushing adrenaline,
screaming into the voids of velocity,
my hair loose in the winds.
(the ferris wheel can do too)

i feel like skydiving
in the vaults of heavens,
immersing myself in the warmth of His sunlight.

i feel like laying myself flat
on the steamy golden sands of the coasts,
listening to the waves as they flap my ears wet
till they are deaf from moisture.

After which i would rise,
run myself crazy,
and comb the beach of a hint of rest-
rest in my soul.
(yet dripping in mad perspiration)

i feel like goin on a safari
and stare into the very eyes of the maned creature
with the boldness of Daniel.
(as though i dare)

i feel like
i feel like
dancing, twirling, swirling and wheezing
till i kneel in exhaustion
at the feet of Jesus.
I hope He will let me kiss His feet,
let me ask of His forgiveness.



(This is a personal prayer to the Lord for Him to set me free from the recent stuffiness in my heart. It gets really suffocating at times, Father, when i engulf myself in it. It seeks to blind my eyes from You, stop my heart from feeling You. Help me to remember Father, "For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless." (Psalms 84:11))

Single.mind.edness

singleminded (adj.) : intent on only one aim.

Take my life, and let it be Consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days, Let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move At the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be Swift and beautiful for Thee.
Take my voice, and let me sing Always, only, for my King;
Take my lips, and let them be Filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold; Not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect, and use Every power as Thou shalt choose.
Take my will, and make it Thine: It shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart; it is Thine own: It shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love; my Lord, I pour At Thy feet its treasure-store.
Take myself, and I will be Ever, only, all for Thee.


i went in search of the missing shadow, one that had been carried away by the rising and setting of the sun.
i went back to seek a part of my past, one that had been lifted unto the hands of the Son.
As fleeting as the shadows had i become, i broke the heart of my Father
who watched me turn from Him and the cross, with a heart grieved and sighed.

Oh Father i am so sorry to have broken Your heart. I shouldnt have let the past memories and feelings bind me again. Knowing that music usually never fails to sweep my heart's emotions, i did not stop satan from using it to sweep me away. i cannot let the song qin fei de yi transpose me away from You again!

Father i thank You so much for yesternight's sermon, and Pastor Khong's favourite song. No turning back no turning back. I was determined oh Father, that i sang these lines last night with the full strength of my heart, and Father i really want to honour those lines to You. I knew last night, i turned back towards the Cross and Jesus again. And as the shadows of the Cross fleeted away once more, i knew the burdens of the past were once more swept away from me. This time i want it to be final. Father help me to honour my words to You.

I thank You Father too, for putting an assurance in my heart that i had built my house on rock, and not sand. Kern is always saying that i am a strong woman, like a tree, like the redwood tree planted in 1891 in his school. I do feel that i have grown so strong too, and all praises to You Father for this. But Father, i know You desire 100% attention from me -singlemindedness.

Ever will i want to cling on You Lord.

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An empty canvas i was born
for the Father's hands to begin to draw
Longing to see the picture He will form
breaths of sigh i would draw
when all my Father patiently did
was to dab and mix the colors long
(to be cont'd)
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[PRAYERS.08nov04.midnight.]


Bun's birthday wish for this year:
"the full baptism of the holy spirit that it starts with me, pours unto me and flows to my members, resulting in an inside out transformation first. And the rest is up to Him."

Wonderful. Applaud him for this; all glory to God for such a Christward heart. Father, may You honour His wish for You, bless and equip him with the full armor of God to fight and serve You all his life. I boast of You Lord in his strengths, and plead with Jesus to be strong in his weaknesses. Empower Him Father for all that he needs in Your grace to spur himself, his boys and all people around him to run for Jesus. Thank You Lord. And yesh God, once again i pray that nobody, including myself, will ever cause his heart to stumble.


Father bless my gals, not just those under me, but every single one of them who are so close to my heart. Especially for patricia, jean, belinda, kah li, eunice, annabel, hwee jing, xianglin, ain... Father may Your full force of confidence and wisdom be upon them for their O'levels now. Cast out all distractions Lord.

Father open up belinda's heart too, to stop her from running away from You. Give her the strength to face You, and to accept Jesus. Bless the hearts of yvonne, meryl, valerie, ching meei, penny, eloisa, janice, jessie, shangying, xuezhen, kaiwen, kailing, nadhira, nilam, huilan, minghui, joan etc.; draw them nearer to Jesus, and Father may You use me to intercede and to bring them steps closer to You each time i talk with them or meet up with them.

I pray that amanda's baptism remains a miracle for her throughout her life; one that is reflected from the miraculous resurrection of Jesus. Thank You Father for Your words spoken to her through Ee jay's prayers --that she is a kite designed to fly high for Jesus always. And yesh, like what ee jay good old whale said, may she soar in her God-given dreams as well with Your strength and courage.

Father, bless shawna with a good time from now to the Encounter Camp in preparation of her heart and spirit. May her steadfastness in You grow with the days. May You bless her grandmother who is in hospital now Lord with much of Your healing grace and comfort. As well as for patricia's mother, may You grant her a speedy recovery from her operation.

Yawnzzz.

Father i wanna go to hatyai!!! May you grant me concession from my mum and dad as well. Argh, havent been able to talk to my dad properly. He's always talking to me as though i am a child. Well well. Hmm guess should rem what bun says, try to honour him in small ways at least, to let him know that he's not losing me.

My headache seems to be creeping up on me again. Argh better not tell bun anymore. Father i do pray that our friendship, partnership, and whatever become clearer, not in our own ways, but all through Your eyes. I hate vagueness; i don't like hints. Open cards on the table, if you allow.

Oh yeah, may You bless lihui, joan and clement with a good closure in their projects tonight and tmrw!

Father bring my sis selynn nearer to You once more, so close that she can feel Your breath upon her face. May You heal her from the past hurts with your miraculous healing grace; Father i miss her.

And yesh Lord, bless those going mad in the studios now, the year ones and fours. May You see each of them through this final lap; may Your glory shine from every project and every heart. May You be their red bull, coffee...yeah!

heh i myself cannot make it anymore. Came back at 6 this morn and slept till 9plus only. The archi lifestyle!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhh.......................

My bed is beckoning me. Oops havent read my bible. See you there God!

let my every breath praise the Lord. :>

When you are weak, He is strong.
He can heal your wounded soul, and calm the storm inside.

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I'll bring you more than a song,
for a song in itself
is not what You have required.

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down at the Cross
come and leave all your pride
lay everything at His feet
for us all He was willing to die
even when we were weak
when we were still without strength
when we were set in our ways
when we were filled with hatred for Him
still He was willing to die for you and i
down at the Cross......

Ephesians 3:20

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.."
-Ephesians 3:20

Wow, can you imagine that? I baptised my first girl last evening!!! Definitely something which i have never really imagined myself doing or can ever ask for, for now.

God kept His promises faithfully to me, and delivered more than what i asked for to me. I remembered when i made the decision to stay in sing for my work here, He gave me a vision of myself bringing girls to Encounter. Now i have a third girl going for the next Encounter, after bringing patricia and amanda to that in Sept! I never could picture a baptism happening so fast - yesh, God allowed me, by His grace, to baptise Amanda yesterday (30th Oct 2004/ Youth Service @TCT). :>

Wow...wow....i'm truly amazed by the Lord.

thats a vision dear!

Yes Lord, it is a vision. of jon bowling down on his knees at the altar in repentance. of him lifting his hands in worship for You Father. Yes it is a vision. Foolish me thought of it as a reminiscence of the past; that was why i didnt dare to think about it. Now Lord, i will cling unto the vision by faith. Thank you Father. :>

Keep my eyes focused on Jesus

Dear Father,

Keep my eyes focused on Jesus. Help me carefully consider him.

Let me see his faithfulness. Let me see his worthiness to be
honored.

Let me see him as the apostle and high priest of my confession.

Let me see him as the one who has called me to a heavenly calling.

Let me see him as the very Son of God, faithful over God's
household, and let me see myself as part of that household of
faith, and let us hold fast our confidence and our pride in our
hope.

In the name of Jesus I ask. Amen.

God teach me to be Your kind of leader.

Father, what can i do for shawna? She doesnt seem too receptive or responsive towards me.

O Lord u be the ultimate judge of whether i have been a good cell leader. Pat's little question dealt me quite a big blow actually. She asked me if she's gonna put yvonne as her cell leader in her application form to volunteer in David Club. God, how has she been viewing me? had i been lacking as a leader in her eyes? God, am i the supposed leader for her? What can i do more for pat?

O Father, i give them all up to you if you did not will me to be their leader. Kah mei, patricia, shawna, joyce. Give them each the best shepherd.

O God.....teach me.

Sigh.

Yes. I havent been prayin enough for them.
Did i direct them towards a certain direction and vision?

God i feel so lacking. I need alot alot of Your grace.

And yes God, how to draw jean, belinda, kah li, hwee jing, minghui, eloisa etc. closer to You?

Your grace is sufficient.

letter to jon.

Dear jon,

Each time i remember you in my prayers, my spirit cries.

I know how much you are unhappy and struggling out there. I feel especially broken whenever you try to be the person that you do not wish to become. And i know how much you need the Lord.

This scene flashes in my mind alot of times; I always imagine you kneeling down at the altar again, crying. My heart longs for you to raise your hands up high in worship for the Lord again. That was you.

You may feel so weak in the flesh. But i pray for God to rise up the courage in your spirit to run back to the Father. He's been waiting too long.

You are such a dear brother in my heart, that i really never want to lose you to Satan. Come back Home; come back to your Father. Stop being obstinate and stop seeking your own desires in the flesh.

I may mean nothing to you; but i know the Lord still means a great deal in your heart. Dont hide away; don't lose faith.

I will be waiting for the day when you kneel down at the altar again, the day you lift your hands towards heaven to praise the Father. I know when they come, i will be moved to tears.

luv,
mirabel

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly

I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky

I'll make a wish

Take a chance

Make a change

And breakaway

Out of the darkness and into the sun

But I won't forget all the ones that I loved

I'll take a risk

Take a chance

Make a change

And breakaway

Kelly Clarkson's song has once again touched my heartstrings.

God i need this type of man.

I am a man who will

Fight for your honour

I'll be the heroYou're dreaming of

We're gonna live forever

Knowing together that we

Did it all for the glory of Love

Yesh Lord, for the glory of YOUR Love.

Thank You Lord for being in my life.

holy holy is the lord god almighty

The song came on surprisingly, and it didnt fail to uplift my spirit this time too.

Holy holy is the Lord God Almighty
who was and is
and is to come..

Yesh i remember this is the song which first brought me down to my knees at the bottom of the Cross. Thank you Lord for reminding me of my salvation three years ago (almost exactly three i think), and most importantly how Your Faithfulness and Strength had carried me through these times.

The song brought me further actually, to assure that seed of faith in me that, yes Jesus would come. Come Lord, come. Come and take your place. It's so wonderful that by faith, i know He is going to come into my family as well. :)

Thank You Father.

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Oh Lord, may You continue to draw kah mei nearer to You. May Your grace and love surround her at all times, especially when she feels lonely, down and even unworthy. Oh Father, may You take care of her emotions, and bring her focus upon You Father. Oh Lord, i'm sorry for those times when i had not been a good leader to her- even moments when i let myself do the wrong things (eg. jay-running) in front of her eyes, when i almost lose my patience with her etc. Oh Lord change me, and mould me to be a person who's Christlike in all my ways. May my emotions be in check with Yours too.

I'm prayin for a great breakthrough in kah mei's, patricia's and minghui's lives during the encounter. And mine too. And also kah kin's, darrence's, cerwin's and songquan's lives and barnabas's. Period.

let him go. let him fly.

prayers. Jul13tues.04

dear Father,
I'm feeling concerned about shiling. Her family seems to be in bad state; i sense great pain in the hearts of her parents. Think they are feeling clueless and helpless about shiling. How come she hasn't been to school for two days? Oh Lord, i pray that you would grant the opportunity for me to speak with shiling in church. May Your peace abound in her family Lord.

Father, i lift up kah mei's body condition to you. May you bring down her fever, and grant her the comfort and healing in her stomach. Oh lord, may her temple be well protected and taken care of.

Father, thank you for watching over patricia. Thank you Father for keeping the bond between her and the family strong and warm. Oh Lord, i pray for focus in her school work, out of a sense of urgency about the upcoming O'levels. Oh Father, i pray for protection over her health and mind as well, that she will not be too stressed too tired, especially from the fasting. Lord may You grant the confidence in her about her O'levels.

Oh Lord, thank you for blessing my relationship with my dad. Thank you for instilling so much of Your love between us. Thank you for such a gracious dad. Oh Father, help me to become the best daughter i can be to him. Help me to put him above myself. And Father, may i pray for You to take charge of the situation of my dad's businesses in china too. I don't know what's gone wrong, but oh Father, i pray that out of Your grace, You will help to put things right for my dad. Thank you Lord.

Father, bless my mother's health as well. Keep her well and happy. Lord, teach me how to make her happy as well. I'm her daughter. I want to talk and laugh with her; i want opportunities for me to show my concern for her too. All out of Your love for her in me. Lord i pray for more open communication between us, that she will let me know her thoughts and feelings more.

Father protect my bro too, in the mind, spirit, body and heart. Lord i'm sorry i have not been that good a sister to him. But Lord i do feel especially restricted with him. I cant do what i do with/for other youth out there with/for him. Oh Father, help me to make up to my bro in your ways Lord.

Oh Lord, may You be the one to draw the souls to you for Spook. Thank you Lord for the provision of the extra tics Lord. You know whom each ticket is for. Father i trust that, even when the number of my kids coming for Spook is more than the tickets i have, You are going to provide for me. Oh Father, remove any anxiety about coordinating the kids in my heart- everything seems abit messy now. May Your peace prevails in me as You help me to confirm the tics and people. :>

Father, i pray for barnabas. In the midst of his fasting Lord, i pray that Your strength overcomes any weakness in his body and mind especially when he is buried in his work Father. May You be His greatest strength and best companion in the lab. I thank you Lord for his heart for people, for his boys etc etc. May You lead Him to teach and guide his boys in even greater ways; may Your wisdom and confidence be in him. Father i pray for his friend, brian, that You would continue to protect the seeds sown in his heart, and draw him near to you through people and things around him. And yesh Father, may You protect barnabas's heart.

oh Father i pray for joshua. That you would be in control of the mad rush in his life as he prepares for his exchange, commits in akid foc, settles his church and cell stuff etc. May he leave for shanghai with Your peace in abundance.

and for kengsan as well, Father, may You take away the tiredness in his body and soul. May You guide him through the busy-ness, the so many things he needs to handle for foc. May he carry the aroma of Christ in excess during the camp; may Your light be shone through him to the freshmen you put under him.

Lord i pray for liam, that you would take charge of the situations in her life as well. Especially for the issue about huangyan, Father may You teach us how to handle it in the best way. Lord we both treasure the sister-ship alot with huangyan. Father i do not want to look upon her colored or even tainted lenses. May your protection be upon liam Father.

Oh Father, i know what selynn is doing may not be pleasing in Your eyes, but Lord i do know that You allowed it to happen for a purpose too. Father what is Your will in it happening? Oh lord, teach me how to talk with selynn. I really do not bear to tear away any love from her, even though that may not be true love. Oh Father teach me what to do for my sister.
Galatians 6:1
Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.
Luke 17:3 "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.

Father may Your protect Yvonne in Holland. Keep her safe and well.

In Jesus's name, Amen. Thank you Lord.

a favored daughter.

i do not know if i am being audacious in saying this, but i really do feel God's favor upon me in abundance.

I have been such a blessed gal.

He has always been bringing people to care, to help, to encourage, to teach and guide, to pray for me, as well as to shower me with love more than what my heart can contain.

And i have to admit that he always blesses me with favor, liking and love in people's eyes too. No wonder jonathan said that everyone likes mirabel.

He blesses me with uncountable true friends and bros and sis, such that whenever i need a helping hand or a mere word of encouragement, i usually get it.

i think i'm going to sleep beaming away tonight. Grin.

patience.

God, i need patience with my gals, with kah mei especially. Her 'dunno's are putting me off. I want to communicate with her in more proper ways, not just behind the technological sms gadget walls, but also face-to-face, heart-to-heart. Lord, i do not want to lost my patience with her over this. May you take charge of this channel of our bond, Father.

Lord help me and remind me to keep my commitment with patricia as well- to update her about the sermons, church happenings etc.

And with joyce especially. Oh lord, what have i been doing with her??

when will he ever understand

oh Father,when will jonathan ever understand our hearts for him.. when will he ever recognise how much we desire for him to return to You.
oh Father, tell me how i can help him again, if you will me to.

i'm scared

I will cling unto the Father's love and strength.

Sometimes i feel like i've put myself into a greater mess than before. Oh Lord. Put my life back in order oh Lord.

Sometimes i just cant help feeling so scared Father. i dunno what will happen. And Lord, i seriously worry that the worst scenerio will occur. But on the other hand, there's a certain rest of heart that Father, you're definitely in charge and You will make a way for me. Oh Father.....

I thank you Father for b.

i hugged my dad!!!

haa thinkin back bout that scene sends both warmth and a shudder of chill in my heart.

i hugged my dad!
after telling him that i actually miss him alot. Whenever i think back of the scene when he will pat me to sleep every night when i was small -plus all the finger-twirling/grabbing kiddish games- i just feel like sobbing. And i told him that right in his face.

This is a good one. A good beginning.
:>

[scene taken place on 30th May 2004, 10pm]

i want to stay.

Oh Lord Father,

this is for final, with full conviction of my heart.
I WANT TO STAY.

the vision, of bringing the gals to encounter in september.

MY WORK IS NOT COMPLETED HERE.

Colossians 4:17
Tell Archippus: "See to it that you complete the work you have received in the Lord."

i found complete joy true joy in being there for them, in seizing my vision to become a mother of nations. And Lord, You have already brought the people to my door.

My joy doesn't lie in going overseas to pursue architecture. that's not even a dream. It just happened to be one of the choices.

Oh Lord, heal my parents' hearts. May Your healing moves and works over every line of heartbreak in them. I'm sorry mum and dad. My indecisiveness has caused them much pain.

And lord, i hold on to my vision. Thank you for it, the strength and the conviction. Lord, you have to be the one to help me stay. There's nothing else that i can do.

OH FATHER I WANT TO STAY.
YES.

in a polly pocket.

i wish i could capsulate myself, my room, my loved, my church, my dearies, and all my present committments into a polly pocket. You know those girlish toys that were in such fad when i was like, ten years old - little colorful oystershell-like containers where a girl's fantasical world inhabits. They used to be my faithful companions on those seemingly long car drives on my family outings. And i actually played that with my bro then. Haa.

And yesh, i wish i could just pack my current ongoings in life in a knapsack and move on to melbourne. As simple as a polly pocket concept. But then that wouldnt be called moving on. wouldnt mean moving out of my comfort zone. wouldnt be letting go.

Seems like the polly pocket is still only ideal for fantasies. in the head of a little girl. who doesn't want to grow up.