Abandonment - Excellence

You called my name
Reached out Your hand
Restored my life
And I was redeemed
The moment You entered my life

Amazing grace
Christ gave that day
My life was changed
When from my shoulders
Fell the weight of my sin

So it’s with everything I am
I reach out for Your hand
The hope for change
The second chance I’ve gained

On You I throw my life
Casting all my fears aside
How could greater love than this
Ever possibly exist

Consume my thoughts
As I rest in You
I’m now in love
With a Saviour
Bearing the marks of His love

So I’ll wait upon You now
With my hands released to You
Where a little faith’s enough
To see mountains lift and move

And I’ll wait upon You now
Dedicated to Your will
To this love that will remain
A love that never fails

Heard this new song Second Chance from Hillsong a few weeks ago, but only listened carefully to the lyrics today. What poetic lyrics with meaning that seems to exclaim from a silent voice... deep within my heart.

Somehow they are hard to sing out loud, not because of the nature of the song, but the lyrics carry so much weight that only a spirit totally surrendered to God can sing. Me, i had been feeling slightly burdened the past few days; i could not focus on God. i could not even dance this Monday. =(

The Lord reminded me to 'cast ALL my anxiety on Him, because He cares for me' (1 Peter 5:7). And i remembered, yes, my faith goal this year is to give my best for Him in all i do, and the only way to do so, is to abandon myself (including all the discouragement and disappointments) unto Him.

i looked at my last three blog entries, and realised... the above was exactly what the Lord had been teaching me to do since the very first day of this year - the abandonment of myself that then leads me into excellence in what i do.

Sounds ironical, but that is exactly the way God works. i listened to the song 'The Stand' again and again this year because my spirit wants to sing 'With arms high and heart abandoned'.

And the Lord gave me yet another song 'Second Chance' to show me the way again - throw my life on Him, cast all my fears aside.

I am now resting myself in my Lord... waiting upon Him. =)

So it’s with everything I am ... I reach out for Your hand

Eyes on the Most High

F O C U S.

This is really something that the Lord has been training me in, in all that i do. Well, if my new year's conviction is that i want to put in my best in the things i do, i really have to learn to focus.

Yet it is not about focusing on the things i do, but focusing on God in them.
W O R S H I P. We worship God in whatever we do for Him as long as our eyes are on Him.

Colossians 3:1-2 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

* * *

Tonight at my dance class, i had one of my best times dancing. i put in my heart and soul to dance for the Lord - all i wanted to make sure was that i did every move at the right timing, that my body articulated every move well.

So i danced, danced and danced till i fell to the ground at the last steps...

... and giggled at myself.

Though i felt exerted and my tired left leg had buckled slightly a few times as i did my leaps, my soul was flooded with joy.

i had never felt such delight in dancing. The symptoms above told me that i really put in my best this time.

* * *

One character who inspired me to dance wholeheartedly is actually the lead actress Mingyue in the Korean period drama now showing on Channel U on Saturday and Sunday evenings. (I really do not have much time for tv actually, but after i chanced upon this drama, the Lord has been teaching me a lot through it)

Such mighty focus and persevering heart she (playing a courtesan) showed me, to perfect every move, so as to perform the best for their king.

I will do the same, for my King, my Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer... Jesus Christ! =)

CDP 2007

I wanted to end last year on a deep note of worship. Frankly speaking i was in no way, 'the best condition' to worship. I had been really physically tired with work, cell retreat, rehearsals before that. My heart was discouraged about some issues. But i told God, i will push myself beyond the physical, mental and emotional draining, for Him, right to the last minute of the Countdown Party (CDP)!

And truly, He topped me up - energy, breath, passion, heart and all - and i jumped and clapped and sang my heart and soul out till the very end. I am so glad i moved into 2008 on this deep personal note of leaning on Jesus.

Someone commented to me after the party, that he saw me panting and looking really tired at the last segment of worship. What a sight i must have been, i thought in my mind. Ha. But i am proud that i pushed on, and i knew that sight delighted God's heart, no matter what. Ha.

YCYPAO family who were on stage for CDP

Who says you need to be in top condition to worship God?? It's never about us, but about Him, who is ALWAYS worthy to be praised!

In the Year of Sabbath, i only want to give my best!

Christmas has just gone by, but this piece of reflections by Corrinne May stayed in my heart. It strengthens my desire to give my best to the Lord in this Year of Sabbath - only my best!

Just like in the song playing in the background - 'Arms high and heart abandoned' - the posture i want to adopt in the new year.

And I will rely on the Lord to do so. =)

* * *

Los Angeles, CA
Reflections for Christmas Day - Gifts for Jesus
25th December 2007


The nights have been getting colder
and colder over here in California
and the days and moments of light have been getting shorter.

And yet, I find a lovely reflectiveness
in this season, this Winter season,

I've always found it a blessing that stars shine
their brightest in the darkest nights.
And so it is, with our lives, oftentimes,
the darkest moments, the moments of despair,
the moments of feeling lost and confused,
can often be moments of grace, moments of intense
illumination where we re-discover ourselves, our goals,
our inspirations and the purpose for which we truly live.

It must have been a very dark night when
the brightest star shone for the 3 Magi, who
went in search of the infant King Jesus.
They must have been filled with thoughts of doubt
and despair, and yet hope must have warmed
their hearts as they travelled
all those nights in the barren desert,
eyes, turned heavenwards towards the star that
pointed the way to the infant Jesus.

They brought gifts of Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh,
but most importantly, they brought the gift
of themselves, and offered it to the infant Jesus.

Jesus says in John 17:24
"Father, they are your gift to me."

We are God the Father's gifts to Jesus.
Wow....I find that amazing. Especially when I think of the moments
when I've been weak, fragile, proud, hurt, selfish...
not the best type of gift at all.

Yet, we are Jesus's christmas presents.
The gift of ourselves, of our time, of our talents, of our being.
What type of gifts do we want to be?
What type of gifts are we to our families, to our friends?
What can we present to the infant Jesus when we reach the end
of this journey under the stars?

Have a blessed, reflective Christmas
filled with wonder and Joy :)