Dalaaa...my brother's new look!

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"Boy, you cannot lose huh!"

Kids nowadays indeed grow up in straining times. i noticed that many of them grow up being trained to fight for the best. Do not be mistaken that i am undermining the essence of encouraging a spirit of conquest in the young generation. It is always wonderful to know your purpose, set your goal and strive on towards achieving it. What i am concerned here, is that many are fighting, simply because they do not want to lose. They may not know what they are fighting for; they may not even know why they win in the end. Losing out, on the other hand, has become for these young people, something terribly hard-to-swallow and also hard to fathom.

An (very rare) early retreat back home today caused me to find at the lift, myself amusingly surrounded by a bunch of primary school kids who just finished their afternoon school session. i especially noticed this bespectacled boy (whom i will call Spekky) who could not get into the almost overloading lift. He tried to appear nonchalant about it, but revealed his unrest when he ranted at the closing door 'Your lift surely overload lar. Too many people then it will drop!'

I got into the next lift with him, and another plump-er boy (whom i will call Plum) with his maid. Plum made a nasty remark to Spekky just before he left the lift, causing Spekky to rant abuses back at him, despite the closing door capsule-ing his words partially. To my utter surprise, the door slided open suddenly cos' Plum pressed it open just to retaliate in even louder words! The battle of volume continued for about one minute, with the door repeating its closing and opening at least twice, till i said to Plum, 'it's okay. Go home now!'

i turned to Spekky who had a slightly smirk look on his face and said, 'Do you know you don't have to do that with him who is in the wrong? You don't have to get angry and fight back at all'.

'I could kill anyone if i want to' was his smirk reply.

Not exactly surprised by his answer (come on, it sounds terribly familiar from tv and movies), i grinned, gave him a light pat on his head and said firmly, 'No, you don't have to do that. I know you are a good boy'.

i then left the lift, turning back and said, 'Remember what i said. Bye boy'. He nodded and gave me a really nice smile.

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i posted this account with my brother's armyboy pictures because Spekky's reactions reminded me so much of my brother's when he was small. Nope my parents didn't enforce a 'If you ever lose, i will not love you' motto on my bro (or me). But societal and mass media influences etc. taught us to equate success and victory with acceptance and love. Losing out or making a mistake or failure mean tagging ourselves with the big signboard saying 'i am hopeless. No one loves me'.

Thank God that i found God who let me realise i do not have to carry that self-proclaimed signboard my whole life. He told me that i was made in Jesus' image - always precious, always beautiful, always righteous. He told me my worth is not based on my failures or even successes. He whispered into my ears this, 'My daughter, i love you for who you are. i love you even when you almost failed your architectural project...' ....

i asked God 'who am i?', and He told me i am His. *cuddles in His arms* =)