the sound of music.

it's interesting how my feelings and emotions about a certain event can be delayed, till i have time to dwell into them. Its been exactly a week since i watched The Sound of Music at the Esplanade, and only now i know i really miss the show as my mind jingles and hops through the different scenes and songs.

i am not slow okay. heh. Would better term myself as a woman of reminiscene.

Do re re, Mi so so, fa la la........

i love the spirit of the show. Its so pure and humble, and so sincerely straightforward, from the littlest feeling of each character to the greatest truth in their faith and the nation. Every character had their bare hearts exposed to us all. Sometimes i felt like i was transposed to the stage, dancing as one of the kids; other times i felt like a note in the songs they sang. They just tugged at my heartstrings. The backdrops werent that spectacular though - simple spread of canvas paintings that brought us from the meadows, to the valleys, to the chapel hall of the abby with tall stained glass windows, to its courtyards- back and fro. Simplicity was the spirit of the musical; that's why i love it so.

Come on, a good musical really doesnt need twisting and twirling plots to entwine the audience, make them lost in the whole story, and only to walk out of the theatre with question marks in their heads which are not readily exposed cos nobody likes to admit they have spent money watching something they don't understand. Haa.

A special thanks to my dear bro yah-shua (who was dressed like a mafia king that night) who sat beside me to occasionally add extra sound effects of glass-breaking when the actresses reached the ultrasonic notes. And yesh, it was such a pleasant time meeting up my sec-sch friend ailing, the mature and beautiful young lady, after so long and hearing about her life once more. God bless you my friend; i'm so glad things are going pretty exciting for you! You're in my prayers. :>

album playing: clear to venus _andrew peterson

Andrew Peterson is such an honest guy. His lyrics reveal the truths of the world, of the human soul, and leave them staring blankly into your eyes. His songs lead us into a visual journey into the lives of David, the prodigal son, even the lost penny that was lost and then found. There is not a least bit of hesitation in sharing his frustration, his unbelief (at times), his drowning in the well, his loss of conscience....for he says "And i write songs, these songs i sing, i'd have none if not for Him. And i know whence came the tunes, Because Jesus made the roses, Jesus made the roses bloom" in his song 'mary picked the roses".

There is a certain child-likeness in AP, and coupled with the occasional tooney tunes and his clear, unrestrained, folksy and abit nasal voice (somehow suits his songs perfectly), bring out the Truth in his own soul, and indeed joy in his faith. :>

i want to stand my ground unshaken,
but i want to tremble when i kneel.
And let my song remain unbroken
through the tears


I especially like the song 'why walk when you can fly'; it sounds especially poetic to me.
In this world there's a whole lot of trouble, baby
In this world there's a whole lot of pain
In this world there's a whole lot of trouble
But a whole lot of ground to gain

Why take when you could be giving?
Why watch as the world goes by?
It's a long enough life to be living
Why walk when you can fly?

In this world there's a whole lot of sorrow
In this world there's a whole lot of shame
In this world there's a whole lot of sorrow
But a whole lot of ground to gain

When you spend your whole life wishing
Watching and wondering why
It's a hard enough life to be living
Why walk when you can fly?

In this world there's a whole lot of golden
In this world there's a whole lot of plain
In this world you've a soul for a compass
And a heart for a pair of wings
There's a star on the far horizon
Rising bright in an azure sky
But with the rest of the time you've been given
Why walk when you can fly
High
High


________________________________

Thank you for those tears of intercession Father, just now as i played on my 'banjo' on the bed, and prayed for your gals. For even though i know you already know my every thought and feeling before i tell you, i receive strength through merely telling them to you, and lifting them onto your hands. Come build an altar unto the Lord, dear daughters of God. Return to worship, and hear His word. And we will touch the Holy Presence of our God.

And yesh, thank you Father for bringing me through the past year since my baptism exactly a year ago! Phew, do not know how i can ever live without You. *Hug*

happy birthday my dear bro.

happy birthday dear bro jk. Other than the words i wrote on the card i gave you, i wanna tell you you are always the best in my eyes; may God bless you with boldness and confidence for the road ahead! Do not be fearful about what lies in NS for you; you already have the stamina to endure it! I will pray for mental strength for you. I am looking forward to seeing you arise as a greater man of faith and strength! :>

nothing you do can make Him love you more

i always thought quite highly of my heart.

"Your heart determines the boundaries of your ministry." (Ps Jack Hanes)

i always thought i learnt the art of unconditional loving. But i realised otherwise just last night.

I love each of my gals dearly. Each time their number increased (praise God!), i was afraid all my love would have to be divided into smaller portions for each of them. But to my amazement, He really enlarged my heart when it happened. He taught me to give more, more than what i have and am.

But after the many little incidents recently that threatened to depreciate or even destroy many of the beautiful bonds, i am starting to discover that i can love them according to their merits, their performance, their responses, their fervor for God and G12. Such unbearable conditi0nal love.

i began to reflect on God's love, on what is really unconditional. This song came to my mind..

Nothing you do can make Him love you more
Nothing you do can make Him close the door....

i can never make my Father love me more?

That is cos, He has already given ALL of His love to each of us. It is just whether and how much we receive it into our lives.

Ahh.... *immersing in the intensity and sweetness of God's love again; in His cradle of Love*

No wonder He already accepted, affirmed and approved of me, even before i really love Him.

Teach me again Father, Your love.

learning in the midst of contrasts.

Last night i experienced one of my first direct persecution externally of my family (previously).

One of my 'daughters'' mum, after asking her gal to hasten her steps towards their car, turned and told me this after i apologised to her for taking so long, "i hope you understand huh. Dont do anything to disturb my family religion huh. Dont do anything to spoil my daughter-and-mother relationship. I hope you know".

i replied simply, even putting my hand on her shoulder for a moment, 'i understand auntie. Bye bye'.

i was smiling, all ready to face her the moment i knew she was standing outside macDonalds. No fear, no anger. I was in a way proud of myself that i knew i reacted to her, just like how Jesus would in the face of such minor persecution. There was joy in the midst of this, to be able to share in Christ's suffering. i even chuckled internally abit at the words 'family religion', cos' they are freethinkers.

In fact, the mum showed me a most beautiful thing in her behaviour - a mother's love. I only heard her heart in all she said; i only believed more that she loves her daughter so much that she is just so afraid of losing her. She was trying to protect her daughter in her own sense.

And this reminds me to step up even more in spiritual warfare for my own daughters. I need to pray for more covering and protection for them. Thats a mother's love for you too.

And i say this to s.a.tan, you will have NO stand at all in all my gals' lives. if you think your scheme to remove my gals from church by planting deception in their mums is going to work, like what you recently did for four of my dears, you are going to be very wrong. If you think your disrupting my two other gals' lives with rebellion towards their parents is going to break them, i tell you that is a lie to your own self. They are all, in Jesus's name (whom you so fear), going to rise up as future sarahs.


Romans 8:35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?
36As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”
37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.


it's true that each time a daughter falls away physically, emotionally or spiritually, intentionally or not, it breaks my heart. But dont think you can defeat me s.a.tan; my hope and strength lie in the Lord! :>

There is one song

There is one God
He is Holy
There is one Lord, over everything
There is one King
He is Jesus,
King of Glory,
strong and mighty

There is one song, that never fails to blow my blues away. Chris Tomlin's King of Glory (a short 3:08 in his newest album). The beat stirs in such a fun fashion; you catch it like a cold. I can picture myself singing that in the band; my entire soul seeking just to proclaim God's glory in the song. And i cant help grinning to Him as i sing it, as my feet tap away, as my heart leaps off to my beloved King, in the exact same beat.

Ashes to Beauty

At the foot of the cross
Where grace and suffering meet
You have shown me Your love
Through the judgment You received
And You've won my heart
Yes You've won my heart

Now I can
Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross

At the foot of the cross
Where I am made complete
You have given me life
Through the death You bore for me
I'm laying every burden down
I'm laying every burden down

Music and lyrics by Kathryn Scott
© 2003 Vertical Worship SongsCCLI# 4157353

~~~~

He gave me a place to kneel at the foot of the Cross. He taught me to lay down my every burden at that spot. It's not just the beauty of the song that has seeped into me, but the beauty of the Cross.

So near so near, i see every grain of the wooden Cross.

I remembered one night on my bed, my posture was kept knelt at the same spot, and i kissed His feet. O i felt like a privileged princess. It was a posture of rest. in acceptance. in comfort. in surrender.