Behind every of this precious girl, are uncountable stories of incidents and experiences that have exhilarated, lifted, and also saddened and broken parts of each of them; spelling lives which God has never forsaken through all circumstances.
And just like what i described to some of you, indeed their life pieces form imaginary subfolders in my mind - Meiqi's folder, Amanda's folder, Sharlene's folder..... Not just because i am accountable to God for their lives, but because they mean a lot to me, from the moment each of them became my spiritual daughter. Today i read in the book 'The Master Plan of Evangelism', under the heading 'Carry their burdens for them', this line '..this means you will not be able to get them out of your mind', and i thought....it is exactly like this.
There were also many other 'folders' that i made myself and struggled to diminish them, put them on hold, or even stamp a 'Case closed', not a victorious closure though. When sin, disobedience and non-submission stand in the way between God and man, as much as i still love the girls, God's divine love cannot flow through to the persons anyway cos' they shut the door. True repentance is then the only key.
And i have to quote from Ruth Graham again: Mothers must take care of the possible and trust God for the impossible. ...Love, affirm, encourage, teach, listen, and care for...the family. We cannot convict of sin, create thirst...after God, or convert... Miracles are not in our department.
As i was lying on my bed late last night and sobbing quietly to my dear Lord, i nearly thought i could just tire myself out in giving to the people around me. And it is not because i wanted anything in return from anyone; it saddened me so when i felt that any person was not even glad or willing to receive. Well, Jesus knows that feeling a zillion times more.
On my bed, God told me He was going to talk about spiritual family and parenting at service today, and our beloved father Ps Lawrence Khong delievered a marvellous sermon on 'Celebrating the Lord through family loyalty'. (Scripture text: Haggai 4:4-6)
There must be loyalty from the father to the children. There must be loyalty from the children to the father. True sons will be tested. True sons may not agree, but they submit always.
My dear daughters, near and far... i am always committed to loving each and every of you. Not for what you have done or not done, not for what you have shown or not. Committed is the word. When i chose not to go for my Masters in Architecture in Melbourne two years back, those who were with me then would know, the utmost reason was cos' a mother cannot conceive her newborns only to leave them straight after delivery. Everyone knows how important a mother's touch and affection is especially for the newborn baby.
And Ps Khong holds a father's heart towards the church. A father means he can never choose to not care for you. What is your heart to me, him.... and God?
Do you dare to call yourself a true daughter?
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